Holiday Vacation

Things are busy! Our schedules are getting hectic with the holidays around the corner. I really need a vacation! At this point, I am going to take a little blog break and begin again in the New Year! Happy Holidays to all our blog readers!

Marching on...

Our adoption agency continues to encourage us through emails and conversations. They use phrases like, “It will happen soon” or “It will happen for you.” Regardless of these broad statements, we are disappointed and frustrated. Yes, once again we were not chosen.

We continue to repeat the words, “keep the faith.” This is a constant mantra in our life. We hear these 3 words in our heads and from everyone around us. Despite these positive thoughts, it feels as if we are perpetually setting ourselves up for rejection and disappointment.

When is enough really enough? When do we loose the word when and replace it with if? These are questions that perplex us. As for today, we are putting one foot in front of another. We are continuing on this path marching to the beat of our own drum.

At present, we find great solace in the following statement. "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world", Helen Keller (1880 - 1968).

Racing for a match!

The race has begun once again! We feel as if the starting line gun shot has gone off and we are racing for a win. Our adoption agency’s Director informed us, on Friday, that our profile is once again being shared with a potential birthmother. We hope that we make it to the finish line as the winners of this match.

Resetting our clock!

We are giving ourselves a new outlook with a revised calendar. Reflecting back, it took 7 months for our first unsuccessful match to occur. At this point, we are resetting our clock/calendar and starting over. This time around, the clock started officially ticking in August. That’s when everything got back on track and our adoption agency began showing our profile again. If you are counting… that puts us a little shy of waiting 3 months.

We have great faith in our adoption agency and all the staff working on our behalf. We spoke with our agency last week. They have 13 unmatched birthmothers living in agency housing. Hopefully, we will have a successful match soon.

Life Lesson

Tina Berry’s voice resonates from the television, "Look at this little Hispanic beauty… she's gorgeous with her olive skin and big amber eyes! If you're joining us for the first time it's our Baby Hour.” Tina quietly whispers, cuddles the baby girl and states, “You could name her Josephina or whatever your heart desires.” Barbara Marville’s voice interjects from beyond the camera, “Next up we have Caucasian boys with blonde hair and blue eyes.” The crescendo of Barbara's voice increases as she says, “This is the perfect addition for the all American family! Remember they're drug free newborns… quantities are limited.”

Looking back… I could have been watching a surreal scene from the Home Shopping Network. In hindsight, it was more like ordering a child or sofa online from Pottery Barn. Check all boxes that apply: African American, down stuffed, Biracial, foam wrapped, Native American, tufted back, drug free, French mahogany finish, male, female, and the list goes on. Looking back, I am amazed by the process and our thought process.

In the beginning… we thought intently about our life, surrounding community, friends and family. Thoughtfully considering, how we could support our future child’s mind, body and spirit. Books were read, doctors were consulted, demographics reviewed. In the end … data gathered swayed us to select a narrow group of children that would meet our family’s needs.

Life experiences are the true catalyst of change. They make you look at yourself and everyone around you in a different way. These experiences make it possible to see the world clearer and from a higher place you have never been before.

During our first match/failed placement it was realized that our child’s ethnicity could not be clearly defined until birth. It was also known that no prenatal care had been provided until the 8th month of pregnancy. As we became more acquainted with our birthmother; it was evident that her social and medical history was incomplete and inaccurate. We slowly learned that we would never know the facts from the past or the mental and health liabilities that lie ahead. Revelations unfolded and we accepted all possibilities and complications. Each time taking a huge step and letting faith guide us on our path.

Then she was born! She could have been green with purple stripes. It did not matter as she was ours. She could have had a cleft lip or club feet. We would not have cared because she was ours. We counted ten little finger and ten tiny toes. We had never looked at something so beautiful or with such pride. She was perfect and she was ours.

We all know how this story ended, but she was ours for a short while. She taught us a great deal during our brief time together. We learned how to love unconditionally and love without limits. When we gazed into her eyes all our fears disappeared. Our love for her transcended all concerns. We focused only on the present and knew we could handle whatever the future presented. She was ours and will always remain as our child in our hearts.

Our loss and failed placement taught us many things. We now know picking and choosing is a burdensome task. We understand that this is not our role. Our capacity to parent is not built around matching criteria but our ability to unconditionally love. At this point, all our boxes are checked and our only desire is to parent. We will be happy and content to receive whatever child God provides. What a great life lesson we have learned. Through the eyes of a child our world was forever changed.

The pages continue to turn...

October is a milestone month for us as we celebrate one year of waiting. It’s kind of a melancholy anniversary of sorts. We have officially spent the last 365 days on the sidelines watching the days unfold at a snail's pace. We feel like children waiting for Santa in July. This is the longest never ending wait!

A lot has happened but we have nothing to show for all our efforts. In spite of our two failed matches; we continue to go forward. We are sad for all that has occurred, but grateful for the life lessons we have learned along the way.

This journey has forced us to look at ourselves and our world in a completely new way. It has been a hard process but very worthwhile. We would never have come to our current realizations without our failures and lessons in grief.

Our adoption agency continues to work on our behalf. They continue to show our profile and search for a match. The agency is doing everything within their power to help us achieve our family goals.

Currently, 12 unmatched birthmothers are working with our adoption agency. We hope that one of these women will choose to work with us in the coming months.

Our child will come to us in time. It is hard to acknowledge, but we are not in control of the situation or outcome. We must continue to have faith in the process and faith in a divine plan.

It takes a great passion and much resilience to proceed on this path. We remind ourselves of Chuck Sigars words, “Calendars are for careful people, not for passionate ones.” Our passion is what keeps us going and time limits can not be imposed.

Hold on tight!!

I am on a never ending roller coaster ride. My stomach turns and twists, my adrenalin skyrockets while ten different emotions overwhelm me at the same time. I am not a fan of roller coasters! Some days I would like to stop, get off and never look back. I would like to stop but I can’t.

I feel this great passion and need to continue on with our adoption plan. Tears have been shed and frustrations have been expressed throughout the process. I pray these feeling subside but without them I would not continue. The reality is… without these emotions I would stop and turn my back on the entire adoption process. My emotions keep this passion burning in me and make me realize that I need to continue regardless of how much it hurts. No words of wisdom will make me feel better and no prayers will bring me peace. The only way I will find serenity is to complete the adoption.

I long for the life I had before adoption applications, home studies and birthmothers. A life that was fun, spontaneous and full of joy. To my astonishment that past life does not exist anymore. Even if I could go back, that life would be impossible to find. My destiny lays head of me with tears, emotions and the hope of adopting a child.

Our profile was shown twice and rejected twice last week. Jose and I will continue to push ahead until we find our match. We must find our match! That is the only way the tears, fears and emotions will vanish.

In the works of George Mathew Adams, “In this life we get only those things for which we hunt, for which we strive and for which we are willing to sacrifice.”

Agency developments and other news...

This week we communicated with our adoption agency’s Director and Social Worker. The good news is... 4 birthmothers that are signed on with our agency may “potentially match” with our criteria. Adoption profiles will be shared with these women in the coming weeks/months. This is encouraging for us as we wait for our 3rd match.

On another note, this summer has been an adventure. The months of June, July and August have been quiet and spent in self imposed seclusion. It’s been a time of reflection and self analysis about our current life and future goals. This period has been difficult but looking back one of great enlightenment.

This process has changed us and brought us to a very different outlook regarding our adoption goals and future family. We have been forced to look closely at ourselves and the people surrounding us. Our daily routine may have not wavered but our way of thinking has greatly shifted. We consider this change wonderful but the process has been unsettling.

I want to thank everyone that has allowed us to grieve on our own terms. Your quite sideline support has been essential for us to heal. Your kind words and thoughtfulness have gotten us through this experience. Thank you for giving us space.

As for our future…we are not giving up!!! We will continue to wait patiently and sometimes impatiently.

Chutes & Ladders (adoption version)

At present we feel like we are playing Chutes & Ladders. We advance 3 steps forward and find the path puts us 5 steps behind our originally location.

In spite of our last post, it seems our adoption profile was recently shared with a potential birthmother. We were not chosen. The word frustrated best describes our feeling, at this point. All we can do is look ahead to the next time our adoption agency shares our profile.

Below is our score card:
# of times Adoption Profile viewed: 5
# of times not chosen: 3
# of times matched w/birthmothers: 2
# of failed matches (birthmothers chose to parent): 2
# of months/days as a waiting adoptive family: 9 months & 10 days

Now what??

Things seem to be at a stand still. Our adoption profile is not being shown. This is a complicated matter related to birthmother housing and our last two matches. It is our hope that by September our profile will be presented to potential birthmothers. We are waiting to see what transpires later in the fall.

We have no happy events to report as we wait in limbo. We are desperately trying to find some joy in all that has happened and what lies ahead for us. Some days are good but some days are a great struggle. Our friend Karla has reminded us, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain!"

The last few weeks

Last week we experienced another loss with the disappearance of our second birthmother. We are not devastated by this latest event but feel exhausted from all the activities and emotions that have taken place over the last 6 weeks. During this short period we were matched with two birthmothers and experience the birth of a child. These weeks were full of doctor appointments, Sunday Masses, meals, shopping trips, study nights, late night telephone calls and stories of lives filled with turmoil and confusion.

Our last match did not work but we are grateful this birthmother decided early on that she would be unable to relinquish her child. The reality is we only knew birthmother #2 for 2 weeks. We are glad this relationship ended before we had time to bond with her and the baby.

Jose and I harbor no ill will and hope these young women find happiness and peace. Each of them made lasting impressions on us. We know the time we shared with them will be reflected on for years to come. We also know they too will remember us. As for the child we held and loved… we pray that God watches over her.

This part of our journey did not end the way we would have like. At times it has consisted of overwhelming emotion and emptiness. This portion of our trip has been extremely hard but it has made us stronger individuals and closer as a couple.

This is not over and with perseverance we will grow our family through adoption.

All dressed up!

We are trying to dress up the atmosphere in our nursery. We purchased ribbon and tulle to spruce things up. Even the sock monkey did not escape this creative wave. The nursery friends seem to be very happy sporting their new attire.

Krafty Korner: Diaper Genie Cover

We are finishing up many household projects as our due date nears. We whipped up a Diaper Genie cover in one hour with fabric remnants. We saw an exact copy online but were not willing to pay 60 bucks! This is an easy project that anyone can accomplish with a little time and basic sewing skills.

A room full of imagination!

I am not an artist but whatever I tackle I have fun doing. We had a big blank space in our nursery that needed something colorful. A little paint, time and imagination led to this project. We hope it gives our little one some creative inspiration.

Saint Gerard

If you are Catholic you may know of Saint Gerard. He is the Patron Saint of motherhood and child birth. Many prayers of intersession are spoken to him on behalf of mothers and unborn children around the world. Saint Gerard also has special meaning for me as I (Brandon) was confirmed with the name Gerard. The Feast of Saint Gerard Majella is celebrated annually on October 16th.

Prayer for a Safe Delivery

O great Saint Gerard, beloved servant of Jesus Christ, perfect imitator of your meek and humble Savior, and devoted child of Mother of God, en kindle within my heart one spark of that heavenly fire of charity which glowed in your heart and made you an angel of love.O glorious Saint Gerard, because when falsely accused of crime, you did bear, like your Divine Master, without murmur or complaint, the calumnies of wicked men, you have been raised up by God as the patron and protector of expectant mothers.Preserve me from danger and from the excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which I now carry, that it may see the light of day and receive the purifying and life-giving waters of baptism through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Saint Gerard's Story
Saint Gerard Majella, the "Patron Saint of Motherhood," was born in 1726 in a small town in the south of Italy called Muro. Gerard was devoted to his widowed mother and he also devoted his life to God and helping others. His selfless help to others in various circumstances endeared him to all sorts of people. He entered the Congregation of the Most Holy Redeemer in 1749 and became a lay brother. He was a model of obedience and possessed extraordinary wisdom. He spent his life dedicated to helping the needy and the poor, being poor himself and having an understanding of the sorrows of the needy. He often gave away his earnings and his own food to the poor and those that came to him never left empty-handed. Sometimes how the food or money came to be there was known only to God and to Gerard. He was also known to have mystical abilities such as powers of prophecy, healing, the reading of consciences, and so forth. He even predicted the day and hour of his own death. During his short life he helped many and performed many miracles. It seems that God had given him, in particular, the special power to help mothers in need. In life and since his death, he has helped so many women who have prayed to him during labor that he earned the nickname the "Saint of Happy Deliveries." Many mothers from all over the world have even named their child Gerard after him in gratitude, and have adopted him as their patron in the joys and fears of childbirth.

We got a crib!

After months of works and many sewing projects our nursery is complete! Well... almost completed aside from the mural that will be added tomorrow. We purchased a crib and dressed it with our personalized bedding. We are ready for our little one.

And Tango Makes Three

And Tango Makes Three is a wonderful book. It has gotten attention by bloggers and received reviews by various leading US newspapers. It's about two male penguins that care for an egg and create a family through adoption. In some circles controversy surrounds the published work. For us it is a wonderful story that has relevance for our non-traditional family.

Last year this book was spot lighted at my (Brandon's) birthday party. And Tango Makes Three became a table favor and parting gift for all our guests. It was also a great segue to announce our official plan to become adoptive parents.

Book of the week... Our Picks

Sammy The Seal
Author: Syd Hoff
Illustrator: Syd Hoff
Publisher: Harper Collins Publishers
First Printing: January 2000

Book of the week... Our Picks

Skippyjon Jones

Author: Judy Schachner

Illustrator: Judith Byron Schachner

Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)

First Printing: April 2005

The Visitor

This blog entry is a little strange and somewhat unbelievable. I would question the integrity of this story if I had not seen it with my own eyes.

Let me begin by giving you a little background for clarification. Houston, Texas is the 4th largest city in America . It's a sprawling metropolitan area covering urban and suburban tracks of land. We have lived in the urban center of the city for more than 20 years. Keep in mind... it’s not Manhattan but urban by every means.

Houston is officially referred to as The Bayou City because of the many bayous that run through it in route to The Gulf of Mexico. FYI… A bayou is a small slow moving stream or creek. The city's geographical location and various waterways provide a year round tropical habitat for abundant flora and fauna.

Last year we purchased a home specifically for the growing needs of our future family. Our home faces a courtyard which is shared by other home owners. The large landscaped area has various brick walkways, stately oaks, manicured shrubs and abundant flower beds. Our front door and our neighbor's front doors open onto this green space.

I recently went to retrieve our daily newspaper and had the crap scared out of me. Standing on our door step was a stork! Actually, we do not know if it was a stork, heron or egret. Regardless, this was the biggest damn bird I had ever seen outside of a zoo! I have never seen a bird like this in the sky or on the ground. The other strange thing is that this stork did not take much notice of me. The bird stood casually near our entryway for two or three minutes, gracefully walked away and then took flight.

Later that day my neighbor commented on my bird encounter. She said, “The bird had been arriving in the early morning hours over the last few months and only stands near our front door or window.” She also stated, “She had never before seen a stork in the ten years she has owned her home.” The other strange part is… we have not shared our adoption plans with any of our neighbors.

As I remember the story… storks bring babies! Jose and I are still a little baffled by this incident. We have one question for our viewers… does this strange occurrence fall under the category of coincidence or premonition? Give us your thoughts.

Book of the Week... Our Picks

Goodnight Moon
Author: Margaret Wise Brown
Illustrator: Clement Hurd
Publisher: Harper Collins
First Printing: September 1991

Nursery Time... Changing Table

One of our readers recently inquired about the changing table in our nursery. Here is the info...

We wanted a chest that would transition with the room as our child grows. We looked at a dozen matching cribs and dressers. We found nursery furniture to be pricey and inferior in quality. We chose this chest for it's height, storage capacity and solid wood craftsmanship. The entire piece is made of fruit wood and mahogany. Other great features include bow front design, dovetailed drawers, inlaid wood boarders and distressed brass hardware.

The chest has great potential to be used throughout our home at a later date. The Classic style would fit into any room and mix well with antiques or modern decor. It looks like a authentic English antique but comes without the hefty price tag. We purchased it at a local furniture retailer and spent $760.00 with retail tax. I have listed an online retailer's link below for interested viewers. The online retailer's price is a little more than we paid. You might want to shop your market area for a better deal.

As we always say... think outside of the box!

Universal Furniture Company
http //www.furniturefind.com/Universal-Furniture-518360-UNI2111.html
Item: Kentwood Bunching Bachelor's Chest
Weight: 161 lbs
Dimensions: 37" H x 40" W x 21" D

Deep in the Heart of Texas...

This time of year a sea of blue appears across the vast Texas landscape. This is all due to our state flower The Blue Bonnet. If you're a Texan, you have been photographed in a sunny field surrounded by these tiny wispy flowers. If you cross our great state in spring, you will never forget the fields of blue surrounding our expansive highways.

This past weekend Jose and I left our comfortable life as city dwellers for a weekend excursion. Actually, we attended a wedding in the picturesque Texas Hill County. The destination was a few short hours from our home in Houston but worlds away from our day to day existence. The photos are from our little get away.

This weekend we also got a small dose of parenthood. We entertained the flower girl who is a child of a dear friend. Let me begin by saying, kids are very heavy! We had a wonderful time with her despite my arm needing amputation from carrying her. She is a delightful child and it was a wonderful glimpse into what our future holds.

Oh... and most importantly, congratulations to Jessica and John.
You make a beautiful couple!

Book of the week... Our Picks

The Sweetest Fig

Author/Illustrator: Chris Van Allsburg

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
First Printing: October 1993

Magic Number?

When we initially began to think through the adoption process we created a lengthy list of questions. The answers were to be gathered from various sources ranging from social workers, pediatricians, online resources and internal reflections. The answers were to be a combination teetered between facts and self-analysis. This part of the process took a lot of effort but has been very beneficial.

One of the reoccurring themes that kept surfacing through the process revolved around age. The questions were geared in different ways but ultimately the looming question at hand was, “Are we too old to adopt?” This was a complex question for us to answer.

Let me begin by saying… we’re both in our early 40’s. Let me loudly state... we are not old! We lead healthy active lives and can run circles around people half our age. We also know many couples much older than us having children. In vitro fertilization and adoption provide ageless possibilities for couples.

The question of age was not about our physical being or vanity but about our child’s future. Is it fair for a child to have older parents? Will we be alive to share all the important mile stones as our child enters their 20's and 30's? Will we be present and able to assist our child as they grow into a self sustaining adult?

Through research we began to realize many adoptive parents begin the adoption process in their 40’s. For these families children have been on hold in an effort to advance careers and further educational desires. For some couples adoption is a last resource when faced with infertility.

When all our statistics were calculated we realized that a magic number does not exist in regards to adoption. The fact is, people of all ages face illness and the possibility of death. The important factors we considered were… committing to loving a child unconditionally, providing for a child and giving 100% of ourselves to the experience.

Jose’ and I walk in faith and hope to be present as our future child matures. We realize that no promises have been made to us or any parent. Ultimately, we acknowledge this is our path in life regardless of our age.

And the awards go to...

John at Gay Dads in Munchkin Land bestowed the Blogger Friends Award to 8 notable blogs and included Daddy Times Two. Checkout John's other award recipients at gay dads in munchkin land and look below for links to our choice winners. By the way... we broke the rules and gave 10 awards away.

John, Thanks again for the acknowledgement!

These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

Mike and Michael's Family Blog

David and JP's Thoroughly Modern (fa)Millie

Byrd's of a Feather

Adoption And My Two Daddies

The Daddy Diaries

Family to Family Adoptions

Those Two Daddies

It's Daddies. Plural.

2 Dads 2 Be

Green Dads

Book of the Week... Our Picks

Josefina Javelina

Author: Susan Lowell

Illustrator: Bruce Mac Pherson

Publisher: Rising Moon Books
First Printing: August 2005

Nursery Lamps

Lamp Shade Face Lift

Project Materials:
Ribbon
Cloth Tape Measure
Lead Pencil
Fine Blade Craft Knife
Ice Pick

Project Tip:
The last two holes need to be 1/4 or 1/8 of an inch apart. This is where the bow will be tied.










Project Directions:
We pulled a couple of matching lamps out of storage for the nursery. The basic linen shades were very blah. They were great lamps in our other home but our nursery needed a little more color and pizazz.

We accomplished this quick makeover by marking equal spaces around the bottom circumference of the lamp. We then cut a tiny X over each of the markings with an fine blade craft knife. To finish, we stuck an ice pick thought the tiny Xs making holes. Finally, we ran medium weight cotton ribbon through the openings and finished with a simple bow. It gave the lamps an entirely different look.

Krafty Korner: New Designs

We are either going to have a baby or are perfecting our skills at designing and manufacturing Haute baby essentials. This is another newly created bib/burp set for our future little one.

Diaper Bag Inserts

This clever organizer transforms any basic tote or messenger bag into a diaper bag. Multiple pockets organize bottles, diapers and baby wipes. Simply place it in your bag of choice. Great for Dads that don't want to carry a traditional diaper bag. The 6 pockets are constructed of fabric over a flexible frame.

Retailer: The Container Store
Actual Size: 26" W x 5" H
Cost:$19.99



Retailer's Website:
http://www.containerstore.com/browse/Product.jhtml?CATID=74227&PRODID=10019933

The Feast of Saint Joseph

This is our personal alter assembled to honor Patron Saint Joseph. Tonight we attend Mass and pray for the intentions closest to our hearts.


Glorious Saint Joseph we raise our hearts and our hands to implore your powerful intercession. Please obtain for us from the kind heart of Jesus the help and graces necessary for our spiritual and temporal welfare. We ask particularly for the grace of happy deaths and the special favors we now implore. We pray and wait patiently to help a Birth Mother who is in need of assistance. We pray to raise a healthy and happy child that is in need of a home and loving family. Please hear our prayers and assist us in growing our family through adoption.

Patron Saint of Fathers

Our Roman Catholic beliefs are very important to us. We rarely write about our religious life as we consider it private and sacred. We are breaking our rule of silence because tomorrow is a very special day. We also thought our readers, who are dads and adoptive parents, might enjoy this post as Joseph is the Patron Saint of Fathers.

Tomorrow, March 19th is the Solemnity of Saint Joseph. He is the husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Foster-Father to Jesus Christ. Feast tables are prepared, rituals are performed and prayers are spoken in his honor. Joseph is also Patron of The Universal Church, Carpenters and Social Justice. Many adoptive parents ask Saint Joseph to intercede, on their behalf, when praying for guidance and assistance related to matters of adoption.

Prayer to Patron Saint Joseph:
Glorious Saint Joseph, foster-father and protector of Jesus Christ! To you I raise my heart and my hands to implore your powerful intercession. Please obtain for me from the kind heart of Jesus the help and graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I ask particularly for the grace of a happy death and the special favor I now implore (REQUEST). Oh, guardian of the word incarnate, I feel animated with confidence that your prayers in my behalf will graciously be heard before the throne of God. (REQUEST)
O gracious Saint Joseph through the love you bear to Jesus Christ, and for the glory of His name hear my prayers and obtain my petition.

Traditional Feast Day Recipe :
Pasta di San Giuse (pasta with breadcrumbs symbolizing sawdust)
1 lb. Cooked Pasta (spaghetti or linguine)
Sauce: 2 TBSP olive oil, 5 cloves chopped garlic, pinch red pepper flakes,2 cups finely chopped fresh fennel, 2 cups crushed tomatoes, 2 TBSP tomato paste, 1 TBSP chopped fresh basil, 4 cans sardines (drained, boneless, skinless)
Heat oil in large pot and saute garlic and pepper flakes. Add fennel, crushed tomatoes, tomato paste and basil. Cover and let simmer 30 minutes until fennel is tender. Add sardines and simmer additional three minutes.
Topping: 1 TBSP olive oil, 1 cup fine bread crumbs.
Heat olive oil and add bread crumbs until golden brown.
Pour sauce over pasta, sprinkle with breadcrumbs and serve immediately.

Krafty Korner: Crib/Changing Pad

Everyone needs pads for their bassinet, crib and changing table. We took 6 basic 18x27 inch quilted waterproof pads and customized them with fabric and bias ribbon. We coordinated the colors with crib bedding and bib/burp sets. This project took little effort and a few dollars to complete.

Book of the Week... Our Picks

Katy No-Pocket

Author: Emmy Payne

Illustrator: H. A. Rey

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
First Printing: December 1973

Krafty Korner: Diaper Stacker

This is another little project we completed for our little one. We purchased a Babies-R-Us diaper stacker and returned it after taking detailed measurements. The pattern was cut out of brown paper bags and creative engineering pulled it together. Actually, we were impressed with the results because the construction was more difficult than we originally anticipated. Total cost was $6.00 and the fabric matches our baby bedding. Contact us if you want detailed project instructions.

Making Room for Baby... Kid's Closets

We wanted to design a nursery closet that did not require a master carpenter or spending thousands of dollars. We did not need to reinvent the wheel but needed a few closet accessories. We doubled hanging space with little effort and a $15.00 budget. Keep in mind, this is temporary fix and our child will outgrow this design in a few years. These double hung rods will accommodate 85 infant or toddler outfits. FYI... we added children's wooden hangers from The Container Store for a custom look. http://www.containerstore.com/
The materials needed are below.

Materials and Tools:

1 Wood Dowel/Closet Rod (no longer than three feet)

8 Eye Hooks (medium weight)

6 ft. of Interlocking Chain (medium weight)

Sandpaper

Handsaw

Needle Nose Pliers

Wire Cutter (heavy duty)

Carpenter's Level

Project Details:

*Chain Spacing: (Top 3 inches) (Bottom 28 inches)

On another note...
John at Gay Dads in Munchkinland has ask readers to participate in an online research project. He wants to see how far this little fortune cookie can travel. All you have to do is attach it to the bottom of your next blog post. It's that simple! In addition, check out his great blog at: http://gaydadsinmunchkinland.blogspot.com/.

All John asks, if you participate, is to write a comment for tracking purposes. Here are his directions: Put the mouse over the fortune cookie and click save as and it will go into your pictures. When you post to your blog click on the add picture symbol to transpose the image. The fortune cookie should appear in the text screen. The image will initially appear as scrambled letters and numbers. When you click your mouse the picture should pop into view. If anyone has trouble, just let John know.

So let’s see how far this little fortune cookie can go! Copy, paste and watch to See where it ends up. It starts here...GO!

CPR Training

This week we attended CPR certification. This was an instructional session covering adult cardiopulmonary resuscitation and automated external defibrillators. Next week we cover infant and baby CPR. Our home study social worker suggested we take this educational venue. We just hope we don’t ever need to use it!

We will say that the time it takes to complete is a bit much. We will never get back these 4 hours. Even though, it is great information and just one more thing we can check off on our adoption checklist.
As we say… it’s for the Kid!

The class was really not a big deal but getting registered was the hard part. We called 5 different non-profit and for-profit agencies that offered CPR. Most of them had long wait lists and charged $40.00 to $100.00 per participant. Are these agencies out of their minds? FYI… the agency that was most disorganized was the American Red Cross. After much perseverance we finally found our CPR course provider of choice. The good news is it was completely free. Yes I said… FREE! We can thank the ladies of The Junior League of Houston for providing this free educational venue. If you are unfamiliar with The Junior League take a look at all they provide our city and communities across America.

The Junior League of Houston Inc.
http://www.juniorleaguehouston.org/ .
Founded in 1925, The Junior League of Houston, Inc. is an organization of women committed to promoting voluntarism, developing the potential of women, and improving communities through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers. Its purpose is exclusively educational and charitable.

The Association of Junior Leagues International Inc.
http://www.ajli.org/?nd=home
The Association of Junior Leagues International Inc. encompasses 160,000 women in 292 Leagues in four countries who make a difference in their communities every day through their volunteer efforts.

Dear Readers,

The purpose of Daddy Times Two is to keep family and friends updated about our adoption journey. We also plan to have a printed copy bound for our future son or daughter. We think it might be a good point of reference when faced with the question, "Where did I come from?" We hope these entries will give our child a better understanding of his or her beginning.

The above statements are true but more has evolved through our writing efforts. We have found the process to be very cathartic. The words have become a mechanism that enables us to release some of the anxiety that comes from being waiting adoptive parents. The act of writing about patience is an exercise that reminds us of this virtue.

We are amazed by the amount of interest our blog has sparked. Over the past month Daddy Times Two has received over 500 Internet hits. Viewers have logged on from 22 states and 14 countries. This astounds us because we are not that interesting. We are touched by the encouraging comments and informational emails received from viewers. We would like to give special thanks to It's Daddies. Plural. http://itsdaddiesplural.blogspot.com/ and Adoption And My Two Daddies http://mytwodaddies.blogspot.com/. Thanks again to all of our readers and for the ongoing support!

Fun Stuff... Flash Cards

This is one of our favorite sets of alphabet flash cards. The set has wonderful color combinations and playful animated creatures!

Creator: Lisa DeJohn
Publisher: Chronicle Books Llc
Published Date: October 2008

Book of the Week... Our Picks

The Little Poky Puppy
Author: Janette Sebring Lowery
Illustrator: Gustaf Tenggren
Publisher: Random House
First addition printed: 1942

Life Changes

Five months ago we finished our paperwork, completed our home study and became an active waiting family. That was October 2008 but in actuality April 2008 was when we first met our social worker and decided to adopt. A lot has changed in almost a year. Just for laughs, we thought we would outline some of the major life changes that have occurred since we jumped into the deep end of the pool.

TOP TEN WAYS LIFE HAS CHANGE !!!
10. Home… We traded our high in the sky urban views for down to earth semi-suburbia.
09. Cars… Our two seat convertible will soon be replaced with a family sedan.
08. Personal Security… Our building's Doorman always greeted us with a smile now our Brinks Alarm just beeps.
07. Housekeepers… Long gone! Lemon Pledge has become a household cleaner and a personal fragrance.
06. Spa Days and Manicures… Our nails look as if beavers have been chewing on them.
05. Dry Cleaning… Hand finished garments and door to door service are no more.
04. Clothes… Handmade Custom Shirts are a thing of the past. Who needs clothes that actually fit!
03. Fine dinning… We don’t even frequent hamburger stands anymore.
02. Travel… These days we walk through The Dollar Store and pretend we are in an exotic market in a far away land.
01. We budget for everything!! Ebenezer Scrooge could not live on our budget.

All of this for our future child!
Will one of us choose to permanently stay at home? Will our child be healthy? Is private school our best option? Who knows what is waiting for us around the corner. Money has never been an issue but a little extra dough never hurts. This is especially true when we don’t know what may be heading our way. The reality is... we don't miss any of the trappings from our old life. We are now happy to simply following the path that will eventually lead us to our expanding family.

The views were beautiful before but

life is a little more breathe taking now that we

are in the process of adopting.

Nursery Bedding - Bumper Pad

We decided to use a white Babies-R-Us, Koala Crib Bumper. It was embellished with red bias ribbon for a personalized touch. It's very simple and adds to the overall bedding look. The bumper's total cost including ribbon was $31.05. The best part of this entire project was that we worked on it together and made every piece with care.

We have excess caramel linen fabric that will be used for a diaper stacker and crib sheet protectors. We will splurge on an additonal yard of circus print fabric ($12.00) to embelish these little projects.

Below I have outlined our project buget. The good news is we came in under budget! The bad news is we still need to buy a crib.

$ 75.00 Crib Blanket (Carini)
$ 38.00 Crib Skirt
$ 46.76 Crib Sheets
$ 31.05 Crib Bumper
+_______________
$190.81 Subtotal
$ 46.76 Visa reward point gift card
-_______________
$144.05 Subtotal
$ 75.00 Crib Blanket (Carini)
-_______________
$ 69.05 Total Out of Pocket Expense
$125.00 Original Project Goal (excluding Carinin Blanket)
-_______________
$ 55.95 Total Saving From Original Project Goal

The Prince

A blog reader recently inquired about the painting that hangs in our nursery. We call him The Prince! He was purchased at a local antique fair soon after we began designing our child's nursery. The painting does not have a historical provenance but it is thought to have been painted in the 1920's. The Prince's Moorish style provokes an exotic influence. At first sight we fell in love with this sweet little oil on canvas.

Originally we had decided to create a nature inspired room with lots of birds. This quickly changed when the The Prince entered our home. His fez covered head gave the room an entirely different feel. The room instantly became an eclectic space with an old world vibe. We are hoping our little one will treasure him.

As for the reader that inquired... thanks for all of the great information and leads that you gave us regarding adoption resources.

Book of the Week... Our Picks

BOOK, BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS!

Jose' has taught 2nd and 3rd grade for over 15 years. During his career many children's books have passed through our home. Some books are old friends that I fondly remember from my own childhood. Other books are new discoveries that he finds and shares. We always enjoy looking through them and reading aloud during dinners at home. It brightens our evenings as we eat and read the local and national papers filled with heavy rhetoric. This ongoing tradition and our growing children's library have spurred a new blog segment entitled Book of the Week. Look for it on a regular basis. We hope you enjoy our favorites as much as we do!

THIS WEEK'S FEATURED BOOK:

IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE
Written by: Laura Joffe Numeroff
Illustrated by: Felicia Bond

Birth Mothers

Yesterday we attended a fashion show and vendor fair sponsored by our adoption agency. Event proceeds will assist the Birth Parent Educational Fund. This special fund has granted over $50,000 in educational scholarships to Birth Parents that have placed a child through Family to Family Adoptions. Kudos to Jennifer O’Leary, LBSW for putting on a wonderful event!

Let me remind you that I (Brandon) was adopted at birth and as an adult found my Birth Mother. Because of this, supportive services for Birth Mothers are very important to me. With that being said... I have written some of my thoughts below regarding this matter.

Over the years I (Brandon) have worked with many Birth Mothers. I assisted other adult adoptees with searches after my reunion. During this time, I got to know many Birth Mothers and I found their stories to be fascinating.

Open adoptions were unheard of when I was adopted. I was brought up in an era of sealed records and minimal post adoptive services. In those years, Birth Mothers were told to forget about their babies and move forward with new lives. I found this to be tragic because a Birth Mother never stops caring about her child. The Birth Mothers I worked with always asked the same haunting questions, "Is my child alive and was my child loved."

Adoption has come a long way regarding the treatment of Birth Mothers. Still adoption agencies are not all created equal when it comes to this matter. It was important for us to find an adoption agency that could assist with our parenting goals and meet the needs of our potential Birth Mother. We wanted to find an agency that was concerned about our Birth Mother's long term emotional well being.

We feel fortunate to have found an agency that prides itself on caring for Birth Mothers. During pregnancy housing is provided for birth families, transportation is arranged, monetary assistance is given, educational opportunities are offered and licensed counseling is available. Post adoptive services include agency supported scholarships and lifelong emotional support.

My past experiences have given me an unusual perception in regards to my future child's adoption. I have witnessed the loss Birth Mothers experience and personally faced the complexity of being adopted. This is why I am committed to having an adopted family that includes our child's Birth Mother.

Jose and I clearly understand the task that has been given to us as we grow our family through adoption. We know we are not just randomly having a child enter our life but are participating with a Birth Family as a child develops and matures. A Birth Parent is an essential part of a child's life and an important part of our life together as an adoptive family. We look forward to including our child's Birth Parents in our expanding family.

Krafty Korner: Bibs in Blue

We have made multiple bib and burp sets in various colors.

This is the latest collection in blue and Danish linen. .

Krafty Korner: Kids Clothes

This is another little creation that Jose' made. It's a basic reversible jacket (size for 12 to 18 months). He did a fantastic job with all the tiny details.

Family Traditions... Rock a Bye Baby

This rocker has been in my family for generations. I admire the antique red paint that is worn around spindles and arms. I contemplate about the stories that were told by my Great Grandmother as she rocked her children in this sentimental piece of furniture.

We used this rocker as a corner stone for our nursery. It has given us great creative inspiration. This object has also sparked conversations about family traditions.

Jose and I have begun to think about our history as it relates to our growing family. We discuss our Anglo and Hispanic cultures and ponder about our child’s biological culture. We consider how best to blend all of these into one united family. This conversation has developed into an ongoing list of hopeful family traditions. In addition, we want to include traditions that are important to our child’s Birth Parents. Our mission is to ensure that our child knows all the facets that make him or her very special.

Nursery Bedding - Crib Sheets

We decided to break down and buy crib sheets. It's more trouble than it's worth to try and make fitted sheets. In addition, they would never fit properly. Our vendor of choice was Babies-R-US because they had 100% cotton khaki gingham fitted sheets. They are really nice because the maker used a quilting stitch as an added embelishment. Total cost was $46.76 for three fitted sheets. We had a 20% coupon and used a Visa reward points gift card. This brought the total out of pocket cost to zero dollars for this purchase.

Nursery Bedding - Crib Skirt

We should put this project under the title Almost Homemade. We cheated by opting to buy a Babies-R-Us basic white crib skirt. The $17.99 Koala Baby Dust Ruffle was much cheaper than a Simplicity pattern. This was a great foundation for our project. Caramel linen fabric and red cotton bias ribbon was added to this inexpensive skirt for a full look that will puddle onto the floor. The double rolled finished edges were time consuming but very essential for a custom look. Total project cost was $38.00 including Babies-R-Us off the rack crib skirt.

Nursery Bedding - Blanket

Nursery bedding is expensive! We have looked in stores and online at these little sets and their outrageous price tags. We have a problem spending $500.00 to $1500.00 on a crib ensemble that will most certainly be covered in poop, pee and vomit. Let's face it... diapers leak and kids get sick.

After much thought and debate we decided to make our own crib bedding. The accent fabric we have chosen is called Topsy Turvey Circus Toile (sage). It's fun, classic and fits into our gender neutral nursery. The accompanying fabrics are: caramel linen, white oxford cloth, khaki gingham and red cotton piping.

We did however succumb to the retail gods. The blanket pictured below is from Bambini Carini and was a splurge. The cost was actually reasonable because of the workmanship and cable knit backing. We also thought the purchase would give us some creative inspiration. Take a look online at http://bambinicarinionline.com/blankets-c-27.html to view Carini's other great finds.

FYI... we set a project goal of $125.00 for all materials (excluding Carini blanket). Look for upcoming pics as we complete this creative task.

Upcoming Adoption Agency Events

Family to Family Adoptions Inc.
Children's Fashion Show and Fair
When: Sunday March 1, 2009 at 1:00 PM
Where: Pecan Grove Plantation Country Club
3000 Plantation Dr, Richmond, TX 77469
RSVP: jennifer@fam2fam.org or call 281-342-4042
Tickets are $10.00 per person. This event features informal modeling of Kelly's Kids clothing. In addition, KidsPrints will be demonstrating memorization techniques for your child's hand or foot prints. Kids can enjoy balloon sculptures, face painting, cup cakes and costumed characters. Silent auction items will also be available. Come and enjoy the festivities, food and family fun!
Proceeds go to assist the Birth Parent Scholarship Fund.
____________________________________________________
Family to Family Adoptions Inc.
Art Auction
When: Sunday April 19, 2009 from 2PM to 6PM
Where: Pecan Grove Plantation Country Club
3000 Plantation Dr, Richmond, TX 77469
RSVP: max@fam2fam.org or call 281-342-4042
You are cordially invited to attend an Art Auction by Perry Berns Gallery of Dallas, Texas. Perry Berns Gallery has pledged 25% of the event proceeds to be donated to Family to Family Adoptions which is a 501c3 non-profit. Wine and hors d'oeuvres served. Come enjoy this first time collaboration between Family to Family Adoptions and Perry Berns Gallery.
Proceeds go to assist the Birth Parent Scholarship Fund.

Our Adoption Agency

We feel very fortunate to have found a locale adoption agency that is willing to work with us. It is not easy finding an agency that excepts same sex applicants and truly understand the dynamics of non-traditional families. Our needs can be different from heterosexual couples and the legal aspect alone can be daunting.

Our agency's staff put us at ease from the beginning. They did not ask us to use forms geared to heterosexual couples. You know... Mother's Name / Father's Name or Husband / Wife. They had forms for us stating Parent One / Parent Two. This small gesture made us feel that our agency understood our goal and we fit into their mission.

Our adoption agency is small and has a wonderful track record with both traditional and non-traditional families. They work with a limited number of waiting adoptive families. The average wait time for an adoptive family is six months. This is the average but I have not met or talked with an adoptive family that has waited longer than 12 months. Our agency responds quickly to questions and keeps us in the information loop. Our social worker always responds to emails and phone calls within a couple of hours.

The latest technological advances will not be found on our adoption agency's website. This is not important to us. What we have found is a caring staff and involved social workers that understand the needs of their clients. Family to Family is truly dedicated to personalized service for all parties involved in the adoption process.

Our thoughts on Open Adoption...

Dear Birth Parents,

We welcome you into our life. We look forward to including you as we walk beside our child with life's mysteries unfolding and dreams coming true. Please understand, the words "our child" includes you. Our child will always be apart of you and you will forever be apart of our family.

The words above have been extracted from a book we are creating for our potential birth parents. It is our hope to have birth parents that are willing to be openly engaged in our child’s future.

We believe that birth parents can play a vital role in the life of an adopted child. This can be a healthy relationship that allows a child to explore his or her biological and culture history. Birth parents can also give a child unconditional love and support. We believe in the theory that it takes a village to raise a child. In our view, birth parents are part of the village. The goal of adoption is to provide a child with a loving home and resources for future success. Birth parents are an additional resource that should be relied upon.

Birth parents are chief health information officers. Their updated biological health information can provide great in site into developmental issues and illnesses throughout life. In some cases, birth parents are the only resource for life saving therapies requiring donors.

Every adoption is different and each can have many facets. All parties must be responsible and willing to honor original agreements and adoption plans. Most importantly, insecurities and fear should be set aside for the benefit of the child. When a adoptive child has unanswerable questions about their heritage and beginning original agreements are of little consequence.

The world of adoption is very different from that of many years ago. It is different from the adoptive world I (Brandon) grew up in. More choices are available to all parties involved in the process. Jose' and I are proud to be participating in the growing change that is Open Adoption.

Getting to Know us... Profile Excerpts - Family

Dear Reader,

This is yet another excerpt from our profile that is shared with potential Birth Mothers.

Family

We have a strong family dynamic that consists of many branches. We celebrate holidays together, partake in each others joys and support one another through the sorrows of life. Our family loves and cares for one another and has a strong sense of loyalty and commitment.

The best part of our family is our nieces and nephews. In total there are five, two boys and three girls, all under the age of 6. Two of the children are twins (boy/girl). We also are Godparents to the twins and this gives us great joy. We would like to include our own child in this mix of family fun.

We feel that an adopted child is a wonderful choice for our family. We have chosen the path of adoption because we do not need a child who shares our genetic background. We want a child to share our love and life. We want to enrich a child's life with the gifts we have been given. Our family is thrilled at the prospect of having an additional child to love.

The matching process...

The journey of adoption is a long road with many twists and turns along the way. During the process you question your thoughts and motives, look closely at your prejudices and evaluate your belief systems. The entire process gives you an in dept look at your personality and the life you have made for yourself. You do all of this because of the monumental task that you are committing to undertake.

In my view, adoption is much harder than simply getting pregnant. You are required to consult with others about your qualifications. You present your past and current life for complete review. Money is also factored into this equation at all levels. This is not a situation of letting nature take its' course.

After looking at your life, you then decide what you are willing to accept. In the arena of Adoption this is called Matching Criteria. Do you want a boy or girl? Can you raise a Caucasian child, Hispanic child, African American child, Asian child, or any fraction in between? How will your child fit into the life you have built? Then you consider your potential Birth Mother. Does she smoke? Does she take drugs or has she ever taken drugs? Does she have a physical or mental condition? The bottom line to this myriad of questions is... HONESTY. What are you willing to accept? It is a process of taking a good hard honest look at yourself, your values and all the people that surround you. This is a life long decision that you must consider from every angle. All this is ultimately done for one reason... the life of a child and giving that child every advantage going forward.

I wish people understood the true complexity of the matter at hand. The road of adoption is a long hard road of thought provoking self analysis. In addition, no guarantees of actually having a child are ever made by adoption agencies. The only promise that is given is waiting for your match. Potential adoptive parents need to have virtues of patience and hope. These two virtues ultimately get them through day to day life. Hope and patience are what Jose' and I yearn for, at present. We believe that the reality of adoption will happen for our family. As for now... we wait for our criteria to match.

Getting to Know us... Profile Excerpts - Professional Life

Dear reader,

The next excerpt touches upon our professional lives. We have decided not to publish our complete profile via the Internet. Here are a few facts we are willing to share about this part of our life. Jose' is a tenured teacher with broad academic certifications that include elementary and bilingual education. I (Brandon) work in a University setting and manage programs, activities and volunteer endeavors. Below is another excerpts from our profile that is shared with potential birth mothers.

Professional Life

Education and community service are the cornerstones of our life. We both have careers that involve public service within academic systems. Our careers also afford us a lifestyle that gives us personal stability and work life balance. We receive great satisfaction from our professional endeavors. We feel our professional experience in areas of education and volunteerism will greatly assist in rearing a child.

It is our hope that we can provide a child with a strong educational foundation and understanding of volunteerism. We want to teach a child that it only takes one individual to change a society. We want to create an environment that will foster a freethinker. It is our mission to give a child the necessary resources that will enhance mental growth and make a successful productive adult.

We feel our professional backgrounds and life experiences will positively affect a child. We will be able to live by example and show a child that success can be achieved through hard work, educational resources and a commitment to community.

Catching up on work


Hopping along at work

Thank you... Alphabet Soup

Today's segment is being brought to you by the
letter M

That's M as in Marilyn!

What does the word Mother mean to you? Jose' and I have had many Mothers in our lives. We have had Biological Mothers, Adoptive Mothers, Step Mothers, Birth Mothers, God Mothers and a myriad of other females that have acted as Mothers.

The one person who stands out among all the mothers we have known is Marilyn. She has been in my life (Brandon) for 20 years. We have a long rich history together of laughs and tears. She has been with us through the mile stones and helps us along the path of life. We have learned many life lessons with her by our sides. Marilyn has a no nonsense approach when dealing with life issues. She has high expectations for everyone around her and only wants the very best for the people she loves. Marilyn has seen us through our young adult lives and has been instrumental in helping us become strong independent adults.

Marilyn waited patiently while we gathered information, met with social workers and found an adoption agency. When we decide to proceed with our adoption plan she said, "Now I will have six grandchildren." Those words meant the world to us. Our child will be fortunate to have Marilyn in his or her life. Marilyn, thank you for being in our lives and loving us.

Much Love,
Brandon and Jose'

Krafty Korner: All that glitters

We would like to share yet another of the little projects we completed for our nursery. This one was a lot of fun. All it involved was a little patience and creativity. The materials used were: heavy gauge wire, glitter, glue, needle nose pliers, scissors and card stock. It works best if you sketch out the vision that sits in your minds eye, before beginning. If you have no artistic ability, use patterns to draw the shapes before cutting and glittering. Bend the wire into any desired share you wish. Just remember to balance the objects that will be attached to the wire. Our project tip would be to use glass glitter for a more professional look. Don't just stop at glitter... you can also use paint, cloth and magazine clippings. The possibilities are endless! Remember, just have fun with your little creations for your little one.

Oh, we got the idea from folk artist, Wendy Addison. You can view more of her stuff at the bay berry cove link below. Best of luck if you decide to take on this crafty idea.

http://www.bayberrycove.com/stch.html

Getting to Know us... Profile Excerpts - Jose's thoughts about adoption

Jose and Jose's Father

Dear Reader,

This excerpt came from our profile that is shared with potential Birth Mothers. My Story is below.

Jose's thoughts...

I was not adopted but I can relate to the circumstances. I was 6 when my world changed forever with the death of my biological Mother. At that point aunts, sisters, and housekeepers assisted with my care. Five years later my father remarried. Through this experience I learned that a parent does not have to be related by blood to love or give a child guidance.

This is the reason adoption is right for me. I benefited from the love and care I was given by many individuals. I would like to raise a child as part of my family and give him or her all I was given. Family is a state of mind that grows from the love you have in your heart.

Krafty Korner: Bibs and Burps

Here is another little project for ambitious parents to be.

We purchased a bib and burp cloth set from a local monogram shop and had sticker shock from the price. We decided to try our hands at this sewing endeavor and saved some dough. We made patterns from paper bags using the originally purchased bib and burp cloths. Then we whipped out the Singer and made multiple sets from discounted fabric. Now when baby spits up... we don't have to worry about stains on the ridiculously expensive nappies. Keep in mind they are attractive and disposable. You can use scrap material or match the sets to outfits. Look above at some of the fruits of our labor.

Project Tips
#1 : Patterns need to be bigger than purchased sets (allow 1/2 inch seam allowance)
#2 : Use ribbon that will not unravel (simple cotton works best)
#3: Buy "small" cloth diapers with padded middle for burp cloths
#4: Allow for shrinkage - Wash and dry diapers and fabric before cutting

Getting to Know us... Profile Excerpts - More thoughts about adoption

Oh, I found my Birth Father too!

Brandon

Marion (Brandon's Paternal Biological Grandmother)

Phillip (Brandon's Birth Father)

Getting to know us... Profile Excerpts - Brandon's thoughts about adoption

Brandon and Cassandra (Brandon's Birth Mother)

Dear Readers,

This excerpt was taken directly from our profile that is shared with potential Birth Mothers. I hope you enjoy my story.

Brandon's thoughts...

I am a direct product of Adoption. At birth I was relinquished and adopted by a loving family. As a child I never questioned my existence or felt different from my adopted parents or siblings. My adopted family supported and cared for me. I was a child who was loved and doted upon by everyone.

It was not until I was around the age of 27 that I decided to search for my Birth Mother. The process was a long journey that tapped into many untouched feelings. It also opened my eyes to the emotions a Birth Mother faces and the complicated lifelong decision she makes when placing her child for adoption.

I am fortunate to have known my Birth Mother. Unfortunately, she died in 2001. She lived with Jose and me during the last year of her life as she battled cancer. It was a tragic ending but an experience that was life changing.

My reunion led me to help other adopted adults. In total I assisted with twelve successful searches. They were all joyful but different in many ways. The one common thread among the Birth Mothers I found was their longing to know if their child had been well cared for and loved.

The process of finding my Birth Mother brought me many joys. I learned about her past and mine. I also learned that a part of my Birth Mother lives within me. She was my creator and gave me the things that nurturing alone can not provide. The reunion process also provided me with the knowledge that I could not have become the person I am today without the love and mentoring my adoptive parents provided.

Being adopted gives me an unusual perspective as I proceed through the process of being matched with a Birth Mother and her child. I know that a Birth Mother is an integral part of the adoption process and will remain part of the process for our child's entire life.

Thank You... Alphabet Soup

Today's segment is being brought to you by the letter K

That's Karla with a K!

Karla is truly one of our best friends. She is crazy, funny and has a heart as big as TEXAS! She is like Auntie Mame, Miss Texas and the naughty little girl next door all mixed together. She is also the first person on the scene when any of her friends or family needs support. I should say when anyone needs support as her generosity has extended to complete strangers. We have seen each other through the joys of life and held hands through the ugly rough bits.

She stood by my side when I (Brandon) searched and found my Birth Mother many years ago. Yes, I am adopted but that's another story for later. She has also made it possible for us to forge ahead with our own adoptions plans.

On or around my 40th birthday we had a long talk about unfulfilled dreams. All in all, these aspirations had long passed both of us by. Adopting a child was one of my dreams that remained unfulfilled. You see, Jose' and I considered adoption over nine years ago but it was so complicate, for domestic partners, we gave up. She gave me the confidence, resources and contacts to make our dream became a reality. We do not have a baby yet but we would not have gotten this far without Karla's love and support. We can not wait for the day when we can introduce our baby to the person that helped us along our adoption journey. Karla, thanks for the laughs through the years and thanks for always believing in us.

Much Love,
Brandon (and Jose')

The Sisters!!

Hey what's all this talk about a baby? I'm Precious the beautiful blonde and Bijoux is my black haired sister. I'm twelve and she's two and we both have slim figures of less than five lbs. We are beginning to warm up to the idea of having another sibling around. Especially since we see all the fun toys that are being put in (his or her) room. We can't wait to play with all the toys... I mean play with the baby. Anyway, look for our future comments in our segment titled The Sisters.

Getting to know us... Profile Excerts - Travel

Everybody has the family photos where you are surrounded by famous landmarks near and far. The only problem with our photos are... we are the only two people in them. We have racked up many frequent flyer miles along the way and hope to someday use the points on future vacations with our little one. Look below at another brief Profiles Excerpt that is shared with potential birth mothers. Happy reading.

TRAVEL

A large part of our life together has involved travel. We have been privileged to see many countries and cultures on our vacations together. We would love to give a child the lasting life experience of seeing the world and all the possibilities that surround it. We hope to achieve this with our newly created family.

Krafty Korner: Murals

Murals are an easy and cheap way to personalize a room. All you need to accomplish this project is a pencil, some paint and a little imagination. We use all different kinds of paints in tubes and cans. We always try to use the left overs of previous projects. The one thing to remember is never use oil based paints as they take a long time to dry. My project tip is to put a clear coat of gel medium over the finished piece of art. This glaze gives a little luster and protects the precious work of art. If you use gel medium, covering the entire wall to give a consistent look. Over the years our homes have been filled with birds in dining rooms and landscapes in entries. Murals are fun and if you tire of the scene all you need to do is paint over your last creation. Have fun with the space you create. Attached are our
nursery creations thus far. Enjoy!!

Pictures: Christmas 2008

Naughty or Nice?

All together!

The Feast!

The After Party!

Krafty Korner: Kids Clothes

I just wanted to share an outfit Jose' recently made. He is perfecting his skills at making baby attire. It seems to be pretty complicated due to putting snaps in the crotch for easy diaper changing access. My suggestion to all viewers is... buy on SALE and save your energy for when the baby arrives. It's a lot of work!

Getting to Know us... Profile Excerpts - Religion

The last two days have been full of family, friends and food. What else would you expect at Christmas! The high light of our day was attending Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. Pine swags and advent wreaths were placed on the sanctuary and throughout the church. The smell of fresh pine was wonderful mixed with incense. The two hour and twenty minute concert and Mass contained a complete orchestra, organist, hand bell choir and parish choir. The entire event was magnificent! The processional presented Joseph, Mary and the Christ Child at the alter. It was very magical for us in many ways and made us contemplate about when we would be given the opportunity to become parents.

When we began our adoption journey we searched our own beliefs long and hard. We thought about how the church would view and support our non-traditional family. We explored our past experiences and biases. We did our research and met with a priest. We ultimately came to one conclusion... IT'S NOT ABOUT US! It's about a child or should I say... our potential child. We got over our issues and I (Brandon) converted to Catholicism. One might think converting was easy but with the Catholic Church rituals are ever present. We must also give great thanks to our parish priest. The adoption journey would be much more difficult without his guidance and support.

As for life... it has already changed. We no longer sleep in and leisurely read our Sunday papers and journals. Those days have already passed us by. We take great pride in attending Sunday Family Mass as we prepare to expand our own family.

This was just one "more" thing we had to complete before proceeding with our adoption. What a journey this has already been and we can't wait for the rest to start. With all this being said, we thought it would be appropriate to share another Profile Excerpt. A note for first time readers, our Profile Excerpts make up a book that potential birth mothers review when choosing a family for their baby.

For those readers who pray, please keep us in your prayers. For those still waiting for a child, we will keep you in our prays to Saint Gerard (Patron Saint of Unborn Children).

Religion

We are Romans Catholics and take an active role within our parish. It is our strong belief that a child should be part of a community outside their own immediate family. A child needs to have a belief system based on values and morals for guidance. Religion gives a child a sense of belonging and history.

Our nieces and nephews have been baptized and will hopefully choose to be confirmed in the Catholic faith. We would like to give our child commonalities with family members and the community around them.

We are currently working within our parish to ready ourselves for the joys of parenthood. We have begun conversations with our parish priest and will attend Baptismal classes.

Living in today's world is complicated . We want to give a child every opportunity to succeed in life. We also feel it is necessary to expose a child to other religions, when appropriate. This will give the child a better understanding and appreciation for the differences that exist around them. We hope to instill a true sense of respect for all beliefs systems.

Pictures: Christmas Past

Merry Christmas!

We thought we would share some family snap shots. The pictures were taken last year (2007) with our nieces and nephews. The two smaller ones are our twin God Children. We have a total of five and look forward to one day adding our addition to the brood.

Getting to know us... Profile Excerpts - Holidays

Dear Reader,

Since tomorrow is Christmas Eve we have chosen to share a Profile Excerpt concerning our holiday traditions. Keep in mind these words have been taken directly from our Adoptive Family “Profile” which is shared with potential birth mothers. Happy reading and we hope you and your family have a joyous time together.

Sincerely,
Brandon and Jose'


HOLIDAYS

The holidays are a wonderful time for our family. We always gather for a meal and celebration. Every holiday is special because of the time we spend together. Little ones are always under foot and multiple conversations are being heard from every corner of the house. All in all, we total a minimum of fifteen but that number has been known to expand. Some years, the table is tight and the guest list has grown to over twenty.

Holidays happen throughout the year. It seems someone is always celebrating a birthday, a christening or a special occasion. The events are held in homes, restaurants and hotels. Regardless of the holiday venue or menu the most important part is the people that attend.

Christmas is extra special for us as we have long standing traditions that have been handed down from past generations. We celebrate La Vigilia di Natale or The Vigil of the Nativity. This takes place on Christmas Eve and is informally referred to it as the Feast of the Seven Fishes. The Feast represents the number of sacraments in the Holy Roman Catholic Church. During the endless meal you are served a variety of fish dishes with a sweet ending of multiple pastries. The food is always wonderful but the time together is the best part.

We would like to give a child the valuable lessons that come with being part of a family. Children can greatly benefit from understanding established traditions and being exposed to new experiences. We want to teach a child that the important things in life are always centered on people and relationships.

Nursery Time

Nursery Friends

We have started to assemble small groups of "friends" for our little bundle of joy. They are scattered around the nursery that is every evolving. As for the nursery theme, well... we are not theme people. We feel a little bad because everyone we know has a "Theme". So we have come up with a compromise. We have decided to develop a traditional "English" nursery. This is not really a theme but more of a desired look. We have also included a picture of the unfinished room. Keep in mind it is still a work in progress and we have not finished making the crib bedding or completed the mural. Actually, we are still missing the crib. Hope you enjoyed the pics and thanks for looking.

What's a Home Study?

It was a process in which our Social Worker educated and prepared us for our adoption journey. Information was gathered that will assist in matching us with our birth mother and child. We were evaluated and criminal background checks were preformed. Jose and I spent many hours filling out autobiographical information. The paperwork covered questions ranging from “If we were spanked as children” to “How do we divide household duties.” Birth Certificates, Driver licenses, Social Security Cards and physician references were submitted. Reference letters were written by loving friends and forwarded. Thanks again to everyone that participated! The Social Worker visited our home for a lengthy interview and she looked around for general safety concerns. All in all, it was very painless but we are lucky to have a found a fantastic Social Work.

Oh, and by the way… We passed with flying colors!

Getting to know us... Profile Excerpts - Birth Mother Letter

What's a profile? It's a book full of information about our family, our home, our faith, our commitment, our values and our intentions as potential adoptive parents. A profile is a calling card of sorts. It's a book or website that adoption agencies use to introduce birth parents to potential adoptive parents. Profiles assist birth parents in choosing the right home and family for their child. All profiles are different and the information inside reflects the adoptive families entire outlook on life. An essential pieces of a profile is a letter to potential birth mothers. This letter is usually agonized over and rewritten multiple times in hopes of connecting with a birth mother. When you check in at Daddy Times Two you will occasionally see excerpts from our personal profile. Look for these tidbits under Getting to know us... Profile Excerpts. Keep in mind the profiles are important but many people would agree fate plays a big hand in matching birth parents and children with adoptive parents.

Since I have a captive audience, I want to share our personal birth mother letter. Actually, our profile contains two letters. The first being a letter of introduction and the second letter contains our intentions and thanks. Tonight I am sharing the latter. Before I close, let me thank you for reading and coming along for the ride. Look below to get a peak at our letter.

Dear Birth Mother,

Thank you for viewing this small snapshot of our life. During our seventeen years together we have forged longstanding relationships with friends, family and our community. We have exhibited social and financial responsibility. Most importantly we have cared and loved for each other through life's ups and downs.

We may not be a traditional nuclear family but we have many gifts to offer a child. We have time to give and love to share. We can walk beside a child and encourage as life's joys unfold. We can comfort and support a child through the hardships that are dealt.

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs anyone can undertake. Sleepless nights and endless worry are all part of the position. In spite of these struggles it can be one of the most rewarding life experience. We very much want to partake in the joys and heartaches parenthood has to offer. We encourage you to consider us as potential adoptive parents and hope you will give us the opportunity to share our life and unconditional love with your child.

Sincerely,

Brandon and Jose'

Krafty Korner: Birds of a Feather

This was a fun project we completed together. We picked up the idea from the Internet as we looked to buy an "unusual" nursery mobile. It was an easy and inexpensive way to personalize our baby's nursery. We have added links and patterns below if you want to try and create your own.

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/decorative-accessories-pillows/bird-mobile-in-black-white-and-red-059701
Website Information

http://www.spoolsewing.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/birdpattern1-1.pdf

Bird Mobile Pattern

Krafty Korner

We have always had a project. We have baked wedding cakes, built ginger bread houses, canned jellies, pickled okra, grown roses, picked persimmons, upholstered chairs, refinished furniture, rewired garages, sanded floors, grown eggplant, planted hedges, hung chandeliers, installed doors, torn out walls, hung draperies and the list goes on. What would you expect… we are two gay men! Many houses and remodels ago we learned to be self sufficient. The only thing we will not attempt is plumbing because it always cost us more in the end.

As we wait for our little bundle of joy we find ourselves immersed with a complete new set of tasks. We bide some of our time with baby projects. We have decided to share some of our ideas and finished projects in a reoccurring blog segments appropriately named “Krafty Korner”. Look for upcoming segments in future postings. Thanks again for coming along for the ride!

The year in review...

2008 was Fast & Furious

1. We have decided to adopt a baby. Yes, I mean a baby not a puppy. A real live baby! NO, I did not say a BABY ALIVE!! That's a doll for gosh sakes.
2. We pondered about open adoptions, closed adoptions and surrogacy.
3. We found an adoption agency and a wonderful social worker.
4. We sold our condo that was high in the sky.
5. Actually, we sold our condo to 3 different people 3 different times. Many showings and contracts later we unloaded that "little piece of heaven."
6. We purchased a home in a urban family friendly setting.
7. It seems we have taken on a whole new life very different from our fancy parties and travels far away.
8. Many decorating choices and paint samples later... we are settled in our new home.
9. We filled out stacks and stacks of adoption paperwork. I thought it would never end!
10. We completed our home study (I'll explain more about that later).
11. We completed our life book "profile" and birth mother letter. This took forever!
12. After all was said and done... our profile was officially ready to present to potential Birth Mothers on October 14, 2008. We're going to have a baby!!!
13. Oh, I (Brandon) Turned 40!!! Remember when you thought 40 was old? SHUT UP!!
14. Somehow we acquired another chihuahua puppy. That's another long story, but we now have a pair!
15. By the way... I (Brandon) officially became a Catholic. There is a lot to consider before having a kid!
16. In between all the chaos we laughed, cried and thanked god for the 17 years we have spent together as a couple.
17. We continue to work on the baby's nursery and complete various projects. The project list grows daily... sewing projects, felt mobiles, non-traditional baby books, birth mother mementos, blogs and the list goes on and on.
18. We also read and suck up as much knowledge as we can about babies. What will life be like after our baby arrives?
19. And finally... we wait! Each day we learn more about patience and wait and wait some more. We wait to be chosen and we wait for fate to shine upon us.
20. Oh, did I tell you... WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!

Welcome

We are glad you could join us at Daddy Times Two! We are Brandon and Jose and this is our story. Our blog chronicles our journey as we attempt to expand our non-traditional family through adoption. We are creating a journal to keep everyone near and dear informed of our milestones and progress as we navigate the world of domestic adoption and family bliss. Thanks for coming along for the ride.