Friday, January 23, 2009
We welcome you into our life. We look forward to including you as we walk beside our child with life's mysteries unfolding and dreams coming true. Please understand, the words "our child" includes you. Our child will always be apart of you and you will forever be apart of our family.
The words above have been extracted from a book we are creating for our potential birth parents. It is our hope to have birth parents that are willing to be openly engaged in our child’s future.
We believe that birth parents can play a vital role in the life of an adopted child. This can be a healthy relationship that allows a child to explore his or her biological and culture history. Birth parents can also give a child unconditional love and support. We believe in the theory that it takes a village to raise a child. In our view, birth parents are part of the village. The goal of adoption is to provide a child with a loving home and resources for future success. Birth parents are an additional resource that should be relied upon.
Birth parents are chief health information officers. Their updated biological health information can provide great in site into developmental issues and illnesses throughout life. In some cases, birth parents are the only resource for life saving therapies requiring donors.
Every adoption is different and each can have many facets. All parties must be responsible and willing to honor original agreements and adoption plans. Most importantly, insecurities and fear should be set aside for the benefit of the child. When a adoptive child has unanswerable questions about their heritage and beginning original agreements are of little consequence.
The world of adoption is very different from that of many years ago. It is different from the adoptive world I (Brandon) grew up in. More choices are available to all parties involved in the process. Jose' and I are proud to be participating in the growing change that is Open Adoption.
Friday, January 16, 2009
In my view, adoption is much harder than simply getting pregnant. You are required to consult with others about your qualifications. You present your past and current life for complete review. Money is also factored into this equation at all levels. This is not a situation of letting nature take its' course.
After looking at your life, you then decide what you are willing to accept. In the arena of Adoption this is called Matching Criteria. Do you want a boy or girl? Can you raise a Caucasian child, Hispanic child, African American child, Asian child, or any fraction in between? How will your child fit into the life you have built? Then you consider your potential Birth Mother. Does she smoke? Does she take drugs or has she ever taken drugs? Does she have a physical or mental condition? The bottom line to this myriad of questions is... HONESTY. What are you willing to accept? It is a process of taking a good hard honest look at yourself, your values and all the people that surround you. This is a life long decision that you must consider from every angle. All this is ultimately done for one reason... the life of a child and giving that child every advantage going forward.
I wish people understood the true complexity of the matter at hand. The road of adoption is a long hard road of thought provoking self analysis. In addition, no guarantees of actually having a child are ever made by adoption agencies. The only promise that is given is waiting for your match. Potential adoptive parents need to have virtues of patience and hope. These two virtues ultimately get them through day to day life. Hope and patience are what Jose' and I yearn for, at present. We believe that the reality of adoption will happen for our family. As for now... we wait for our criteria to match.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
The next excerpt touches upon our professional lives. We have decided not to publish our complete profile via the Internet. Here are a few facts we are willing to share about this part of our life. Jose' is a tenured teacher with broad academic certifications that include elementary and bilingual education. I (Brandon) work in a University setting and manage programs, activities and volunteer endeavors. Below is another excerpts from our profile that is shared with potential birth mothers.
Education and community service are the cornerstones of our life. We both have careers that involve public service within academic systems. Our careers also afford us a lifestyle that gives us personal stability and work life balance. We receive great satisfaction from our professional endeavors. We feel our professional experience in areas of education and volunteerism will greatly assist in rearing a child.
It is our hope that we can provide a child with a strong educational foundation and understanding of volunteerism. We want to teach a child that it only takes one individual to change a society. We want to create an environment that will foster a freethinker. It is our mission to give a child the necessary resources that will enhance mental growth and make a successful productive adult.
We feel our professional backgrounds and life experiences will positively affect a child. We will be able to live by example and show a child that success can be achieved through hard work, educational resources and a commitment to community.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
This excerpt came from our profile that is shared with potential Birth Mothers. My Story is below.
I was not adopted but I can relate to the circumstances. I was 6 when my world changed forever with the death of my biological Mother. At that point aunts, sisters, and housekeepers assisted with my care. Five years later my father remarried. Through this experience I learned that a parent does not have to be related by blood to love or give a child guidance.
This is the reason adoption is right for me. I benefited from the love and care I was given by many individuals. I would like to raise a child as part of my family and give him or her all I was given. Family is a state of mind that grows from the love you have in your heart.