The Target trip always falls onto my shoulders. The monthly order is consistently the same... two cases of Up and Up diapers, two Diaper Genie rings, one case of Up and Up wipes, one bottle of baby wash and allot of other crap. It amazes me how an $80.00 essential purchase always turns into a $300 buying splurge!
As I tossed a bundle of undershirts into my basket; a lonely canvas messenger bag caught my eye. The bag seemed to be lost in a shuffle of merchandise. I pulled the brown canvas bag with faux leather trim from the middle of a men's denim fixture.
My first thought was... just the right size. I had not considered replacing Brase's big diaper bag until that very moment. Then I froze with thoughts of buying a trunk for Brase's first sleep over camp. Where has my baby gone!
We weaned early from pacifiers and bottles. Brase's crib was long gone by 16 months. Diapers will also soon disappear by summer's end. The one thing I continued to hang onto is the big baby bag. It holds everything and has become my security blanket over the last two years.
My baby has become a little boy. The revelation comes with mixed feelings. The first two years have been wonderful but hard on many accounts. I loved the baby stage but do not miss the feedings, sleepless nights and endless tasks that come with babies. On the other hand, these precious moments have pasted quicker than a blink of an eye.
We have discussed a sibling for Brase but that is not in the cards. The adoption process and costs alone are daunting. And to be honestly... we are not up for the physical challenge.
I was the youngest of four and the only boy in my family. My mother always called me baby. Up until her dying day, I was her baby. I never could understand how a 30 plus year old man could be a addressed as baby. Well... that was until I held my son for the first time. He will be my baby forever!