Thursday, July 8, 2010

Judgement Day...

July 16, 2010 will forever be imprinted in my mind and on my calendar. This important date will bind our family together legally. We are officially on the court docket to finalize Brase’s adoption.

Remember, we live in the red state of Texas. We are Southerners, actually Texans, by heritage but the South does not live within our souls. We live here for so many reasons but equality is not included on that list.

The 16th is just the 1st step in our state’s 2 part adoption process. Keep in mind, this 2nd step is only required of Gay and Lesbian adoptive parents. Our 2nd court date will be scheduled on or before August 6th.

I will finalize “our adoption” in the county our son was born, during this 1st legal round. Then Jose and I will appear again, in another county, to finalize the second parent adoption. The 2nd step also requires mediation and a legally binding agreement involving custody. This is to ensure that the court does not have to intervene in the event Jose and I ever separate. The mediation and custody agreement in effect acknowledges our family and commitment in a very convoluted process.

Texas is not the only backwards state. We live in a nation with many pockets of inequality and injustice. We are not all free in The Land of the Free! Thus…The Stars and Stripes never hang outside our home because it’s a constant reminder of our 2nd class status as American citizens.

Regardless of the cost and legal obstacles this is a triumph for us and everyone like us. And most importantly, our family will be “legally” united!

3 comments:

Mark said...

I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I thought that everything was already finalized. I guess I should pay better attention. I am sorry for this two-step process that you have to go through. When we adopted John in 2000, only I could. PA Laws changed in 2003 and then Fred could appy for 2nd parent adoption. And even though we were the first Gay couple in PA to apply and get a court date, the Judge "requested" that we visit a psychiatrist to make sure that we were "stable". Of course we did it but it was a little upsetting. Now the Judge loves us and easily processes all of our adoptions. Be strong my friends. We open their minds one at a time.
Congratulations on the date!
Your Friend, m.

Bobby said...

I'm happy for your impending finalization but sorry for the process; although I can't say the state of Texas surprises me. We live in Arizona, and since our daughter was born in California we had the option of finalizing there. We just received her birth certificate yesterday and what a joy to see both our names on it. Arizona does not allow second parent adoption by gay couples. Big shock there I know.

SonyaAnn said...

I'm so sorry that you both have to go through an extra step. It isn't fair and I hate discrimination. You both are far and beyond amazing parents. All three of you are in my prayers.