The journey of adoption is a long road with many twists and turns along the way. During the process you question your thoughts and motives, look closely at your prejudices and evaluate your belief systems. The entire process gives you an in dept look at your personality and the life you have made for yourself. You do all of this because of the monumental task that you are committing to undertake.
In my view, adoption is much harder than simply getting pregnant. You are required to consult with others about your qualifications. You present your past and current life for complete review. Money is also factored into this equation at all levels. This is not a situation of letting nature take its' course.
After looking at your life, you then decide what you are willing to accept. In the arena of Adoption this is called Matching Criteria. Do you want a boy or girl? Can you raise a Caucasian child, Hispanic child, African American child, Asian child, or any fraction in between? How will your child fit into the life you have built? Then you consider your potential Birth Mother. Does she smoke? Does she take drugs or has she ever taken drugs? Does she have a physical or mental condition? The bottom line to this myriad of questions is... HONESTY. What are you willing to accept? It is a process of taking a good hard honest look at yourself, your values and all the people that surround you. This is a life long decision that you must consider from every angle. All this is ultimately done for one reason... the life of a child and giving that child every advantage going forward.
I wish people understood the true complexity of the matter at hand. The road of adoption is a long hard road of thought provoking self analysis. In addition, no guarantees of actually having a child are ever made by adoption agencies. The only promise that is given is waiting for your match. Potential adoptive parents need to have virtues of patience and hope. These two virtues ultimately get them through day to day life. Hope and patience are what Jose' and I yearn for, at present. We believe that the reality of adoption will happen for our family. As for now... we wait for our criteria to match.
1 comment:
Hey guys... sorry for the delay in my responses. As you can probably guess, things have been a little crazy here. (smile)
Chris and I were very touched by your email/comment. We're so happy our story has helped you in your personal journey. We wish you two the very best of luck in the process, and we can't wait until we read the posting that you guys have been matched.
Are you guys doing any 'side-promotion' in addition to the marketing that the agency is doing for you? We've met a few couples (and were in the process of doing the same) who created postcards & bookmarks with a picture of themselves and a link to their agency (or own 800# - which Chris and I bought 877-Two Dads) and placing them around college campuses and in Women's Health centers. For the couples that we know that did this, it did generate some interest from potentail birthparents.
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