Friday, March 27, 2009

Magic Number?

When we initially began to think through the adoption process we created a lengthy list of questions. The answers were to be gathered from various sources ranging from social workers, pediatricians, online resources and internal reflections. The answers were to be a combination teetered between facts and self-analysis. This part of the process took a lot of effort but has been very beneficial.

One of the reoccurring themes that kept surfacing through the process revolved around age. The questions were geared in different ways but ultimately the looming question at hand was, “Are we too old to adopt?” This was a complex question for us to answer.

Let me begin by saying… we’re both in our early 40’s. Let me loudly state... we are not old! We lead healthy active lives and can run circles around people half our age. We also know many couples much older than us having children. In vitro fertilization and adoption provide ageless possibilities for couples.

The question of age was not about our physical being or vanity but about our child’s future. Is it fair for a child to have older parents? Will we be alive to share all the important mile stones as our child enters their 20's and 30's? Will we be present and able to assist our child as they grow into a self sustaining adult?

Through research we began to realize many adoptive parents begin the adoption process in their 40’s. For these families children have been on hold in an effort to advance careers and further educational desires. For some couples adoption is a last resource when faced with infertility.

When all our statistics were calculated we realized that a magic number does not exist in regards to adoption. The fact is, people of all ages face illness and the possibility of death. The important factors we considered were… committing to loving a child unconditionally, providing for a child and giving 100% of ourselves to the experience.

Jose’ and I walk in faith and hope to be present as our future child matures. We realize that no promises have been made to us or any parent. Ultimately, we acknowledge this is our path in life regardless of our age.

1 comment:

john said...

hey guys, more and more people, gay and straight are having kids much older. Your thinking too
Were 'older' also, and well, alot of the parents are our age.