Birth Mothers

Yesterday we attended a fashion show and vendor fair sponsored by our adoption agency. Event proceeds will assist the Birth Parent Educational Fund. This special fund has granted over $50,000 in educational scholarships to Birth Parents that have placed a child through Family to Family Adoptions. Kudos to Jennifer O’Leary, LBSW for putting on a wonderful event!

Let me remind you that I (Brandon) was adopted at birth and as an adult found my Birth Mother. Because of this, supportive services for Birth Mothers are very important to me. With that being said... I have written some of my thoughts below regarding this matter.

Over the years I (Brandon) have worked with many Birth Mothers. I assisted other adult adoptees with searches after my reunion. During this time, I got to know many Birth Mothers and I found their stories to be fascinating.

Open adoptions were unheard of when I was adopted. I was brought up in an era of sealed records and minimal post adoptive services. In those years, Birth Mothers were told to forget about their babies and move forward with new lives. I found this to be tragic because a Birth Mother never stops caring about her child. The Birth Mothers I worked with always asked the same haunting questions, "Is my child alive and was my child loved."

Adoption has come a long way regarding the treatment of Birth Mothers. Still adoption agencies are not all created equal when it comes to this matter. It was important for us to find an adoption agency that could assist with our parenting goals and meet the needs of our potential Birth Mother. We wanted to find an agency that was concerned about our Birth Mother's long term emotional well being.

We feel fortunate to have found an agency that prides itself on caring for Birth Mothers. During pregnancy housing is provided for birth families, transportation is arranged, monetary assistance is given, educational opportunities are offered and licensed counseling is available. Post adoptive services include agency supported scholarships and lifelong emotional support.

My past experiences have given me an unusual perception in regards to my future child's adoption. I have witnessed the loss Birth Mothers experience and personally faced the complexity of being adopted. This is why I am committed to having an adopted family that includes our child's Birth Mother.

Jose and I clearly understand the task that has been given to us as we grow our family through adoption. We know we are not just randomly having a child enter our life but are participating with a Birth Family as a child develops and matures. A Birth Parent is an essential part of a child's life and an important part of our life together as an adoptive family. We look forward to including our child's Birth Parents in our expanding family.